Bush

Twice in the last two days the question of feminine grooming has come up in conversations I've had, and I feel it is my duty as an American and a red blooded Male to advance my views on the subject. I come from the era of the 60's and 70's where the Fur Bikini mega bush was all the rage... I live every day in fear that this will one day become popular again. I don't know why anyone would be turned on by a girl who looks like they might be sporting a package in their panties as big as my own, but apparently there are fans. Lets be real for a minute here- you don't want a habitat in your shorts, and that's just what it is. When you grow a tree you better expect some birds to nest in it, so why would you not expect some critters to come enjoy all the vacant housing you've decided to provide? Sex need not become a safari adventure...there are many acceptable options these days;
The Brazillian- My personal favorite. It defines without cluttering. It says; I'm old enough, and I'm also concientious. It's kind of like accessorizing for your fun zone.
The flying V- I get the sense this is a European thing... specifically Teutonic. I don't like them at all, they seem too aggressive. No guy wants to open the prize and find himself staring down an angry ham wallet.
The Topiary- Many cutsey designs like shaping your whisker biscuit into a heart, or a butterfly have been popular... I'm not sure this sends the right message. A guy gets worked up into a lather, chews his way through her panties and then suddenly has to decipher if this means that she is still in girl scouts, or is just mentally handicapped.
Shaved bare- This is a clean look that says; 'it's safe to put your mouth here', but it also suggests you might want to get a second gander at the birth date on her ID.
The Vagazzle- I honestly haven't run across this one in my adventures yet, but it sounds like the sort of job I've been looking for all my life. Apparently Women have taken to having rhinestones and bling glued on to their beav! The danger is that some guy will just stare at his own reflection like in a little disco ball, and forget his primary objective.
Now not all options work for all girls. Some girls like to change their hair color... it's disconcerting to bring a blonde home and find a big dark brown shrub below. Shaved works well for those who like to dye their head fuscia. The Brazillian doesn't work well for heavy girls. I heard one girl say that she was so fat and white that a landing strip made her look like a Beluga whale with a Hitler mustache. The full shave only works if you also shave your legs and tush. I've known girls who shave, but have hair around their wrinkle valve in back... if the only place you don't have hair is your squish mitten, well it just looks like you have mange. Please also consider avoiding Glitter, absorbent powders and or anti-perspirants. Nothing is worse than going from juicy foreplay to arid extra dry mouth instantly... and it must be pretty distracting when your guy starts coughing and it looks like he's been chewing tinsel, spitting little sparkleys into the air like a Vegas party favor. Yes, we all want to smell fresh... I suggest showering first. That really ought to be enough to do the trick. Sometimes the moment comes when you're not prepared. Make that work for you! I was told by a girl i'm in raging lust with, that she wasn't shaved. I told her I'd be happy to shave her legs all the way to her neck for her. I've had a girl shave me too... danger can be sexy, and if she snips you, she feels so bad that she tries harder!
So, in conclusion, don't give up on the landscaping, Ladies... we do appreciate it!